Surrender Is Internal Yielding

November 13, 2011

Surrender is an internal yielding; that's what I continue to learn through my Feldenkrais work. Letting go of resistance in my body and feeling the flow is the trick. If I move into the flow I am available to find the path of least resistance. Conversely, when I am pushing against something my whole focus is on the push; I can see no way but forward heading directly into the blockage. The craziness is that pushing into the blockage only increases the resistance. In grade 8 physics we learned the principle that for every force in one direction there will be an equal and opposite force in the other direction. I've been playing with this principle in my work with clients as they learn to feel and release the blocks in their movement patterns. Once they can really feel how they are pushing against something that won't yield they are inclined to release the tension in the muscles; then a new pathway is found that allows for more freedom and ease of movement. Life becomes a more joyful experience because they aren't pushing any more they are learning to yield, soften and ultimately surrender to something new.

In relationships the same principle applies; if I feel resistance in someone else my habit is to push back in some way to try to get through that resistance. Ironically, the other person will perceive that the resistance is in me not them and will push just as hard in the other direction; obviously the resistance increases the harder we push.  When this happens we reach an impass that makes change inpossible. So what can be done? If instead one person shifts the focus to another area and is willing to surrender that force then we have a possibility for change; then we can find a balance point for two differing opinions where we can at least teeter totter; hopefully we remember how as children cooperating on a teeter totter allowed us to have fun; when we're having a fun ride on the teeter totter of life it is more likely that we will reach a place where we can agree to disagree. In that playful spot we may just be able to create another possibility that will be acceptable to both parties


Lawrence, my partner pushing against Balance Rock on Haida Gwaii (Queen Charlotte Islands) off the coast of British Columbia. This is such a great picture to show the fultility of pushing against something immoveable.

"Serenity grows out of surrender." Ann Mortifee


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